- you have lots of money,
- you travel to dream vacation spots,
- you eat at the best restaurants,
- you have an impressive title at the ‘’right’’ company,
- you live in a ‘’desirable’’ zip code and so on.
My coach asks, ‘’so what values are operative for you in this situation?’’ I answer form my ‘’best little boy in the world’’ place, ‘’discipline, and one or two others.’’ Invoking his best Thomas Leonard, ‘’telling what you see without judgement’’ approach and trying not to fume (only marginally successful), he responds, ‘’I will NOT allow you to use discipline as one of your values!’’
I had always been told that to get what you want, you have to be disciplined. Not true. You have to be focused. Discipline is but one way to be focused on an outcome and not the only way.
I took a while to find that curiosity is a value/approach that can keep me focused on what I want without the ‘’grab you by the scruff of the neck and push your face into it’’ feeling I get with discipline. That grab you be the scruff of the neck can be fun in a scene but otherwise not so much. Curiosity, of the looking under every log and into every craggy hole on a hike variety, always has me wondering, ‘’what’s there’’. This is similar to the chemistry set I had at 8 years old. The book of experiments was fun but I REALLY had the most fun dumping stuff together to see what would happen.
Many of the men I have worked with, express similar frustration with discipline yet deeply desire to get shit done – to go after their dreams and desires. Many of the men who have been most successful (by their own standards) have used curiosity as the way to stay on track and focused.
My coach recently challenged me to post on a regular basis. I immediately thought, ‘’writing – posting, hell NO! – a task only discipline will make successful. I took a breath and decided that perhaps I can play some. Now, I am curious to see what happens when I do.
Thus, welcome to ‘’My Monday Mantra’’ (M3) and what is M3 you ask? For now, it’s a simple, ‘’so what happens if?’’. Every Monday I will be musing on ‘’what happens if?’’